I think that all cyclists should be shot! Or at the very least pay road tax.
Most cyclists I see are elderly men most of them closet homosexuals who need to ride a bicycle in order to wear spandex without anybody questioning them, they really want to be wearing leather but they’re afraid of dying at 100mph on the motorcycle that they would have to ride in order to get away wearing it.
They ride side-by-side 3 a breast down roads like they are the only ones allowed to use it, oblivious of cars, vans or trucks wanting them to move out of the way instead of acting like a roadblock that crawls along a 4mph.
Putrid low lives, worse than heroine addicts sucking the life and soul out of humanity. I’ve seen loads of near misses caused by these idiots. On one occasion I saw a cyclist almost hit a car head-on as him and his 4 “bike buddies” were riding side by side along the road meaning one of them encroached on the opposite side of the road. Fucking idiots riding along chatting without a care in the world oblivious that they could cause an accident or even better a car could speed around one of the many country lanes I see them on killing them.
Yesterday I nearly got hit head-on by a van overtaking one of these assholes on a bend I swerved and he missed me. Now I know that was the fault of the moronic van driver who was presumably speeding round the cyclist in order to get to his next job as fast as he could so he could spend his whole day working really hard (either that or the idle bastard was rushing home on an unusually sunny Wednesday afternoon, where he could get pissed while his kids play in a paddling pool, before serving questionable meat off the BBQ).
The whole cycling things seems to have increased tenfold since we hosted the Olympics 2 years ago, which leads me to say, “fuck you, Chris Hoy!” fuck you for making every day driving in the sun miserable when it should be a pleasant experience cruising around listening to Country or Rock or whatever your poison and enjoying the weather all of this is not possible because of these two-wheeled go slow road hogs which God forbid I should knock off as I’d be the one in the wrong. There's your Olympic Legacy right there, morons clogging up the roads, yet all the kids are still fat and sat on their arses at home instead of outside playing real sports.
Scrolling aimlessly through Twitter the other night I came across a post by Kurt Sutter (@sutterink) the show runner of the amazing American TV show Sons Of Anarchy which for all you ignorant fucks who haven’t seen it is about a Hells Angles styled motorcycle club in California who are tied up in all sorts of crazy shit. The tweet read: “Why are cyclists such arrogant cunts? Hey, Mr. Lycra fancy pants, you’re on a fucking BICYCLE, get the fuck out of the middle of the road.” I couldn’t have put it better myself!