I think that all cyclists should be shot!
Or at the very least pay road tax.
Most cyclists I see are elderly men most of
them closet homosexuals who need to ride a bicycle in order to wear spandex without
anybody questioning them, they really want to be wearing leather but they’re
afraid of dying at 100mph on the motorcycle that they would have to ride in
order to get away wearing it.
They ride side-by-side 3 a breast down
roads like they are the only ones allowed to use it, oblivious of cars, vans or
trucks wanting them to move out of the way instead of acting like a roadblock
that crawls along a 4mph.
Putrid low lives, worse than heroine
addicts sucking the life and soul out of humanity. I’ve seen loads of near
misses caused by these idiots. On one occasion I saw a cyclist almost hit a car
head-on as him and his 4 “bike buddies”
were riding side by side along the road meaning one of them encroached on the
opposite side of the road. Fucking idiots riding along chatting without a care
in the world oblivious that they could cause an accident or even better a car
could speed around one of the many country lanes I see them on killing them.
Yesterday I nearly got hit head-on by a van
overtaking one of these assholes on a bend I swerved and he missed me. Now I
know that was the fault of the moronic van driver who was presumably speeding
round the cyclist in order to get to his next job as fast as he could so he
could spend his whole day working really hard (either that or the idle bastard
was rushing home on an unusually sunny Wednesday afternoon, where he could get
pissed while his kids play in a paddling pool, before serving questionable meat
off the BBQ).
The whole cycling things seems to have increased
tenfold since we hosted the Olympics 2 years ago, which leads me to say, “fuck
you, Chris Hoy!” fuck you for making every day driving in the sun miserable
when it should be a pleasant experience cruising around listening to Country or
Rock or whatever your poison and enjoying the weather all of this is not
possible because of these two-wheeled go slow road hogs which God forbid I should
knock off as I’d be the one in the wrong. There's your Olympic Legacy right there, morons clogging up the roads, yet all the kids are still fat and sat on their arses at home instead of outside playing real sports.
Scrolling aimlessly through Twitter the
other night I came across a post by Kurt Sutter (@sutterink) the show runner of the amazing American TV show Sons
Of Anarchy which for all you ignorant fucks who haven’t seen it is about a Hells
Angles styled motorcycle club in California who are tied up in all sorts of crazy
shit. The tweet read: “Why are cyclists
such arrogant cunts? Hey, Mr. Lycra fancy pants, you’re on a fucking BICYCLE,
get the fuck out of the middle of the road.” I couldn’t have put it better
myself!
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